Kosti’s
Words
by
Richard Kostelanetz
Anagroping—scrambled
sexual foreplay, usually in darkness, unless participants are very
drunk or stoned.
Boozo—a
stupid drunk.
Confabulation—a
deceptive story.
Currode—making
a wolf disintergrate.
Dialectable—susceptible
to a certain style of antithetical intellectual analysis.
Earnest—someone
who takes a job to acquire enough money to purchase his own home.
Earsighted—someone
who hears better than they see.
Elsewhen—another
time.
Everywhichway—self-explanatory.
Fiveplay—sexual
foreplay taken to a higher level of stimulating five erogenous zones
simultaneously; sixplay is attained only by a few; sevenplay has never
been documented.
Flagass—someone
whose country’s flag is sewn into the back of his pants.
Flatulent—the
opposite of corpulent.
Gliborrhea—nonstop
talking.
Gluve—a
tight-fitting hand garment.
Groon—a
humongous future husband.
Harmoronic—ignorance
in unison.
Hushband—a
married man who talks only softly.
Illhumorate—people
who miss good jokes as well as bad.
Inastute—a
polite euphemism for stupid, especially in political circumstances.
Ingreatiate—self-love.
Inocearly—flu
injections taken during the summertime.
Irection—self-foreplay.
Monogigamous—appearing
in only one venue at a time.
Multiradical—an
intellectual who has rethought many issues and areas differently.
Noneofyourbusiness—four
words made more elegant than one, especially in New York City.
Orgyre—spinning
sex.
Philaundering—rejecting
Phillip only.
Polyartist—a
creative person excelling at two or more nonrelated arts (writing
and painting, say, music and architecture).
Propera—reflecting
love for that theatrical musical genre.
Pussychew—an
oral sexual act.
Reusnation—collective
reincarnation.
SADS—a
psychological condition caused by a lack of sex.
Scabdriver—an
anti-union organizer.
Sotospeak—three
words more elegant as one (likewise forgetaboutit).
Soxy—someone
whose most attractive attribute is their feet.
Statusfying—successful
social-climbing.
Stup—corrupted
Yiddish for sexual intercourse.
Suckcess—immediate
gains that are finally losses.
Taxhaust—going
bankrupt from paying taxes.
Taxic—whatever
high sales taxes makes unaffordable.
Thrillring—a
sound that produces a sigh.
Youdell—a
falsetto scream aimed at a single person.
Yout—please
leave.
Zealousy—excessive
envy.
Richard
Kostelanetz is
online at RichardKostelanetz.com.